With rising gas prices, more Philadelphia area residents have chosen to stay closer to the area for their vacations. In an effort to please some of these “stay-cationers” and hopefully take some tourism dollars from the Jersey shore, Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter has commissioned Japanese construction firm Icanhaz Properties to build five artificial islands off the coast of Penn’s Landing, three of which has already been completed.

Nutter said the idea for the islands came from the artificial islands built off the coast of Dubai in the shapes of palm trees and the Earth, but also because it has become so difficult to build anything on the Penn’s Landing site.

“We are really doing something that we haven’t seen anywhere else in this country, and we’re using the beautiful Delaware River to our advantage,” said Nutter. “We might not be able to provide our citizens with Wi-Fi, but we can sure as hell get them some islands.”

The building of the islands has been no small task with over 600 million cubic feet of stone, rock and sand used to construct the three completed islands. Nutter said the material for the build has come from a number of different places.

“We did a little bit of dredging, that’s where the bulk of the material came from,” said Nutter. “But we had a ton of dirt left over from the Disney hole and the convention center expansion, so why not just dump it in the Delaware.”

The islands completed are in the shape of iconic Philadelphia images and will eventually hold hotels and shopping venues for visitors. The first island to be completed was in the shape of the Rocky statue and has been named “Yo Island,” followed by “Crack Island” in the shape of the Liberty Bell and “Pat’s Steak Island” which was funded in part by the famous cheesesteak shop.

Nutter said all five islands should be completed by Memorial Day 2009, the traditional start of the summer season. Bookings for private islands and hotels are being handled at www.phillyshore.com.

Radio listeners were in for some changes yesterday morning when they turned their dials to WYSP (94.1 FM) and heard bands like Foghat and The Scorpions on their way into work. The change of formats, to what YSP is calling “The Rock You Grew Up With,” targets the much sought-after “white trash” market.

WYSP, which is owned by CBS Radio, believes their format change will strike a blow to similarly formatted stations in the Philadelphia area, and seems to be setting their sights on long-time owner of the white-trash radio population, WMMR (93.3 FM).

“We’re going to rip the heart out of WMMR,” said YSP operations manager Andy Bloom. “If you’ve got a 1977 El Camino with the transmission ripped out on your front lawn, if you wear shorts in the winter to show off your sweet calf tattoo, if you have a tv sitting on top of your tv … you might be a YSP listener.”

Local residents had mixed reactions to the format change. Mike Belkin of Linwood, Delaware County, said the change is just what he’s been looking for.

“Finally there’s a place where I can hear Lynyrd Skynrd, Def Leppard and Metallica without changing stations,” said Belkin. “My girlfriend’s going to love it too. So will my ex-wife, and mothers of my five kids.

But local hipster Stephan Idaips said this is just more of the same from Philadelphia radio.

“Once again there’s nowhere for me to listen to the music I want to hear,” said Idaips. “Where am I going to hear The Creaky Boards, or VCR-legs or Wolfman Weekday? You don’t even know what I’m talking about, do you?”

The Phunyun archives show this latest format change is the 89th change for the WYSP in the last decade.

At 3 a.m. Saturday, Barack Obama’s campaign team sent out a text message and e-mail announcing his choice of Joseph Biden for his running mate for the 2008 Presidential run. While the move was hailed by many for Biden’s experience in foreign matters, it seems the choice also served to point out to America that Delaware is in fact an actual state.

In picking the 35-year senator as his running mate, Obama’s campaign immediately gained political experience, one of the main knocks on the first-term Illinois senator. But many Democratic insiders are pointing out that the choice also moved the state of Delaware into the spotlight, giving it legitimacy as an “actual state.”

“I would go to conventions or talk to folks when I was on vacation an tell them I was from Delaware and people would just laugh,” said Marlon Brown, head of the Delaware Democratic Party. “Now I think people will stop doing that little scene from Wayne’s World, saying ‘We’re in Delaware’ … all sarcastic like.”

With little going for the state other than it’s distinction as the “First State,” many in Delaware are hoping Biden, and the potential of having him in the White House, might be a boon for the state. Longtime Delaware resident Delbert Bard said the possibility of having a Vice President of the United States from Delaware marks one of the most exciting things to happen in the state in years.

“This is probably the biggest thing to happen to Delaware since DuPont discovered Teflon in 1938,” said Bard. “Either that or when we had that public flogging back in 1952. Tell you what, you bring back some public whippings and ….”

Senator Biden is scheduled to speak at the Democratic National Convention in Denver on Wednesday night.

Just in time for the start of the 2008-09 football season, the Philadelphia Zoo plans to unveil it’s newest attraction, an Andy Reid impersonating walrus. Now before you go calling the SPCA, you must realize that this is not your ordinary case of animal exploitation. One day, a zoo patron wearing a Philadelphia Eagles hat got too close to the edge of one of the aquatic tanks. A gust of wind lifted the cap off the upset zoo-goer and dropped it down into the water. The inhabitant of the tank, a walrus who the employees now call “Big Red” swam up and under that hat and has been wearing it ever since.

Albert Robards, head custodial engineer of the aquatic mammal division at the zoo states, “He absolutely loves the attention. At first we just joked that he looked like Coach Reid in the hat, but he completely embraced the roll.” Apparently, many of the zoo-workers gather round a television on Sundays and watch the game, and now they have a rather unlikely guest. “We’ve taught him to do the throat clear, and we had an outside clothier create the huge black jacket and phony head-set.”

And for the grand finale? “At the end of the game, he slides up on the land platform in his tank and gets behind a make shift podium with a microphone.” After weeks of training and practice, the walrus has learned how to bark out something that slightly resembles Coach Reid’s signature catch phrase: The time is yours.

If you were wondering where the similarities between Reid and his long tusked counterpart end, look no further than their records in the big game. Cynthia Altair, head of public relations states, “We started this promotional contest across the U.S. called the Zoo-per Bowl, where select groups of animals from major cities compete for a trophy. This year, B.R. coached his team of trained seals to a victory over some animals from the Franklin Park zoo in New England.”

When I reminded Ms. Altair that Andy Reid had in fact won a Super Bowl ring, she was quick to correct me. “He wasn’t the head coach on that one. Plus, it wasn’t in Philly… and as far as I’m concerned, that’s all that matters.”

In a move that may mark a change in the Philadelphia alternative-weekly scene, Philadelphia Weekly, one of the two alt-weekly newspapers distributed in the Philadelphia area, set a record with their latest issue by placing 17 pages of original content in the 88 page paper.

PW editor Tim Whitaker says the 19 percent of original content in their latest issue is simply a one-time error, and does not mark a change in editorial style for the publication.

“We try to really keep the original content down to about 10 to 15 percent for each issue, but we had a couple of problems this week with our sex … I mean ‘adult’ ads not making it by deadline,” said Whitaker. “I really want to apologize to anyone who was looking for more ‘T/S,’ ‘entertainment’ or ‘massage’ ads.”

Brian Howard, editor-in-chief of the Philadelphia City Paper said he’s taking PW’s move as an act of war.

“There has really always been an unwritten rule in this city that you filled your paper with ads for bars, and adult phone lines, and Asian massage parlors and maybe one or two feature stories that ran three pages,” said Howard. “But to have your paper with 19 percent original content, that’s absurd, they’ve really thrown down the gauntlet.”

However local readers didn’t seem to notice much of a difference in the additional content of Philadelphia Weekly. 16-year-old Josh Mayo said he doesn’t even pick up PW to read any of the ads.

“Me and my sister have to share a computer, so it’s kinda hard for me to get spank material,” he said. “So, usually I just take the adult section in the bathroom and have at it, so I don’t care about articles and stuff.

Gathered consumer data from both NetFlix and Blockbuster Online Video Rental outlets shows the rental of the 1985 Cold War classic, Rocky IV, has increased almost 200% in light of recent world developments. The movie depicts fictitious Philadelphia boxer, Rocky Balboa’s attempt to avenge the death of his former opponent and current best friend, Apollo Creed, at the hands of an unbeatable Russian boxer, Ivan Drago. The fourth and most financially successful Rocky film is currently at the top of over 87% of the queues of Netflix users.

Brian O’Brien, night manager of West Coast Video on South 15th St. in Center City believes that the increase has much to do with the U.S.’s recent stand on the Russian invasion of Georgia. “Aside from the Nazis who no longer exist, there’s no greater villain for the American public than the Russians.” After being bitter rivals during the Cold War, animosity between Russia and the U.S. plateaued over the last decade. Recently, Hollywood has begun to rekindle the flame with well known American heroes like Indiana Jones taking on the dreaded “Red Army” in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

O’Brien also believes that healthy Olympic competition (NBC 8pm) has helped spur the Rocky IV revival across most of the country. What about locally, particularly focusing on the Eastern half of Pennsylvania, we ask? “Everyone already owns it,” states the precocious WCV employee. “If they don’t have it on DVD, they have it on VHS. If they don’t have it on VHS, they’ll watch it on cable. They’ve got the toys, the soundtracks, the bed sheets, and a statue out in front of the art museum.”

If two City Council members have their way, motorists in Philadelphia will have to drastically change their habits in their cars as they will be prohibited from doing anything that isn’t strictly “driving related” such as talking, changing the radio station or adjusting the temperature in the car.

Philadelphia City Council members Bill Orange and Bill Orangechen are drafting a bill that would ban all non-driving related activities in cars traveling in the Philadelphia city limits. The councilmen expect to introduce the bill when City Council returns from summer break on Sept. 18.

Although the final draft of the bill is not yet available, The Phunyun was able to obtain an early form of the bill. While the bill initially started as a ban of hand-held cell phones, texting and Web surfing, it has since grown to include activities like “talking,” “regulating radio functions,” “adjusting temperature controls” and “using navigation devices.” Councilman Orange said the bill is a step to increase the driving safety in the city.

“You hear a lot about the people getting in accidents because they’re talking on the phone, but what about the people who are just talking to a passenger, or changing the station or turning on the air conditioning,” said Orange. “Look, we’re not saying you can’t listen to the radio, just pick a station before you remove your car from park.”

Word of the new bill has angered many motorists in the area who say the expectations are just too large. Steven Jenkins, who lives in Montgomery County but commutes to Philadelphia during the week says if the bill is enacted, he will ignore it.

“There’s no way I’m following that law, there’s just no way,” said Jenkins. “Say I’m listing to 610 [WIP-AM] on my way out of the city and it’s like 2:59 and I forget Eskin comes on at 3. You’re telling me I have to sit through that [crap] for my hour ride home?”

If the bill passes through council, it would take effect January 1, 2009.

A newly published book that focuses on exposing the secrets of local sportscasters has hit national store shelves. Play by Play: Philly Commentators Exposed is a blistering literary attack on some of the most famous Philadelphia sports personalities, including the Eagles’ own Merrill Reese. According to author Tabor Jansens, Reese is in fact a hand puppet in one of the world’s most sophisticated ventriloquist acts, operated by none other than partner and five time Pro-Bowl receiver, Mike Quick.

Tabor goes on to say that shortly after leaving the game, Quick honed his puppetry skills in a Vaudevillian review somewhere in the Italian Market. It was here that he ran into a young Jim Henson who was test screening his own puppets in a new show called Sesame Street. The two collaborated to create the first iteration of Reese, consisting of a large crew sock, black marker, and glue-on “googily eyes.” Over the years, the Jim Henson Creature Shop has implemented advancements in technology to make a more realistic puppet that Quick can use in personal appearances and television broadcasts.

For more secrets involving other notable Philly sportscasters, click after the jump.

• Mark Zumoff from the Sixers is actually blind.

• Jim Jackson of the Flyers telecast, cannot wear pants. He has a medical condition involving sensitive skin that can result in extreme chaffing when coming in contact with fabrics. Whenever the case calls for Jackson to appear on television, he is shot from the waste down, or the pants are added in post production using CGI.

• Hall of Fame Phillies play by play announcer, Harry Kalas, gargles horse semen before every broadcast. While his face and body make him look like he’s 100 years old, the concoction which is derived from champion race horses by fertility scientists, helps to keep his vocal chords and world famous delivery of “Outta here…” healthy and young. The book does not confirm if Kalas swallows.

Play by Play: Philly Commentators Exposed by Tabor Jansens retails for $19.99 and is available exclusively at Borders.

In an interview with muckraking sports program Best Damn Sports Show Period, Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps called Americans “front runners” for only following Olympic sports every four years.

The Great Atlantic & Pacific Tea Co. has issued a massive recall of 3 products for the city of Philadelphia, focusing on purchases made at local Super Fresh and Acme stores within the past 24 hours. The products are as follows:

Topps Ground Beef Patties (10oz) – serial #18897-3845 and product code 177.
JonJon’s Scrapple (17.5 oz) serial #18845-2333 and product code 888.
Nathan’s Footlong Hot Dogs (24oz) – serial #18898-3846 and product code 132.

No specific reason has been given for the recall and customers are asked to return the products to their place of purchase for a full refund.