Philadelphia Zoo Unveils Newest Attraction: Walrus Imitates Andy Reid!

(photo via Scoop Ketchems, AP)

Just in time for the start of the 2008-09 football season, the Philadelphia Zoo plans to unveil it’s newest attraction, an Andy Reid impersonating walrus. Now before you go calling the SPCA, you must realize that this is not your ordinary case of animal exploitation. One day, [...]

BREAKING NEWS: Tell All Book says, "Merrill Reese is a Hand-Puppet."

A newly published book that focuses on exposing the secrets of local sportscasters has hit national store shelves. Play by Play: Philly Commentators Exposed is a blistering literary attack on some of the most famous Philadelphia sports personalities, including the Eagles’ own Merrill Reese. According to author Tabor Jansens, Reese is in [...]

Hello From Lehigh: Eagles Training Camp Day 10

 
The players (and this particular writer) cheered a collective, “Yay” before the start of training Eagles camp practice drills at Lehigh University, after the morning session was canceled due to a water main break. Eagles backing up quarterback, Kevin Kolb, used this extra time to sleep in. I used the break in the [...]

Reporter Uses Cliché Involving Snowballs, Booing & Santa To Describe Philly Fans

While on-air last night during for cable sports network DASN, national sports reporter Justin Gallagher used chichés he had heard hundreds of times before to describe sports fans in the Philadelphia area.
Lacking any knowledge of the history of Philadelphia sports or the area itself, Gallagher proceeded to use his knowledge of previous reports on the [...]

McNabb Allergic to Racism

Today at training camp in Lehigh, Philadelphia Quarterback leader Donovan McNabb was motor carted off the football playing area after having an allergic reaction to racism. McNabb, now in his tenth year, lead the half of the team that scores offense onto the field and started a football drive. After receiving the snap from center, [...]

Eagles’ Lito Sheppard Traded To Book Publisher For Dictionary

Disgruntled Eagles cornerback Lito Sheppard received the trade he had been seeking earlier today when the team moved him to book publisher Random House for a Webster’s Dictionary and a book to be named later.
After hearing an interview with the two-time Pro Bowler where he claimed the Eagles were showing him “disappreciation,” Random House, [...]

Ignoring Irony, Rabid Sports Fans Call Dark Knight Fans, "Nerds"

Last week The Dark Knight, the latest film in the Batman series, earned over $18.5 million in midnight showings its opening night. The movie was shown in an unprecedented 3,040 screens across the country at the stroke of midnight. For many of the people who were able to see the movie in the wee hours [...]

Sports Radio Caller Hired As Eagles GM

In a move that will likely send shockwaves through the National Football League, Philadelphia Eagles president Joe Banner announced the hiring of Vincent “Vinny” Salvadori today as the team’s new general manager after hearing the trade ideas he had as a caller on a local sports radio station last week.
“We like to think a [...]